good idea (?) gone bad

[thepilot'swife]

I realize this is not a husband bashing forum, but since this tale involves the discharge of a firearm, I thought you might enjoy the story...

Once upon a time there was a very responsible, smart, and capable airline pilot, who (after 9/11) joined the ranks of a cannot-be-named group of cockpit defenders sanctioned under the Department of Homeland Security. His initial training was intense, and he dutifully attended annual training sessions at the range. However all of this preparation was for naught when he came face to face with what would prove to be his greatest nemisis....the North American Whiporwill. (yes, the bird).

Living out in the country, we enjoy the wildlife that shares our neighborhood. But one creature truely became the bane of our existence. THE WHIPORWILL! After flying the "red-eye" home from Europe, and a long commute home, my husband would try to re-acclimate to NC time. When he finally fell into the bed, exhausted, he would be just about drift off when it started.... "WHOOP, WHOOP, WOOOO! WHOOP, WHOOP, WOOO!". It was the loudest, most obnoxious bird call ever. Ear plugs didn't help. White noise sound machines didn't help. While the rest of the family had no problem sleeping through the noise, sadly, my husband could not. Night after night, it continued.

Finally, utterly sleep deprived, my husband couldn't take it anymore. He jumped out of bed, grabbed MY winchester defender and stormed onto the front porch, naked as a jay bird (ironically, not the bird at issue). He shouldered the weapon, and fired a shot into the pitch black night, toward the top of the trees, hoping, he said, to scare it away (okay, we all know he was hoping for that miracle shot and the damn thing would eat lead and finally shut up).

After the echo of the gun's blast faded away, he was greeted by the most beautiful silence. At last! Peace and quiet! My weary husband retreated to the back of the house, to our bedroom, and crawled into bed, satisfied that he would finally have a peaceful night. Unfortunately, HE MISSED. While he did scare the Whiporwill from its roost (at the front of the house), it decided to find a new perch in a tree at the back of the house RIGHT OUTSIDE OUR BEDROOM. And so it began anew..."WHOOP, WHOOP, WOOOO".

The moral of this story is twofold. Make sure you have your target in your sight, or you may not like the outcome, and most importantly, if you use your wife's shotgun, without permission while she's trying to sleep YOU BETTER CLEAN IT WHEN YOUR DONE!

[Delbert]

Now that's funny--sorry hubby didn't get any sleep, but just having a visual in my mind. I know I'm a Redneck, and other's only wish they was one too.
Del

[luv cookie]

Poor guy!! So tell me Pilotswife, did YOU take care of the birdie for him? or is he still tormenting your husband?

Cats like birds!! Maybe it's time for a yard kitty?

Welcome to the forum! Always glad to see more women shooters on board.

[gnepig]

Now that is a funny story... it conjurs up memories of Bill Murray trying to get the groundhog. I picture Thepilot up on your roof top with a pellet gun with high power scope and night vision sniping the noisy little B******!
Hmm, that actualy sounds like fun...

[thepilot'swife]

(10-01-2010 08:19 PM)luv cookie Wrote:  Poor guy!! So tell me Pilotswife, did YOU take care of the birdie for him? or is he still tormenting your husband?

Cats like birds!! Maybe it's time for a yard kitty?

Welcome to the forum! Always glad to see more women shooters on board.

Dear Mr. Luv Cookie,
Yeah, yard kitties usually do the trick for birds. Unfortunately here in BFE, NC our yard kitty is a big mean bobcat (the thing with teeth- NOT the little bulldozer). All things being equal, I think double-breasted, brass buttoned, hat wearing Pilot Boy would rather suck it up and wear ear plugs than further invite man-eating evil cat into our universe!
;)